Mighty and Powerful Gods!
by Travellers all
Summary: Thor Odinson and Loki Laufey, trapped on Midgard in the guises of a pair of street swindlers known as Miguel and Tulio, win a map that might help them return home. Or it might lead to horrible painful death.


"Thank you ladies and gentlemen, we've decided it was a draw. You've all been so kind. Thank you!" The blond smirked down at the crowd before grabbing his dark haired companion and pulling him off the back of the building, into the dirt.

"That went well brother," the dark haired young man sighed, "Why did I let you talk me into this?"

"El Dorado. Might be our only cha..." He stopped and pointed to the side, at a large, snorting bull. "What now?"

"Well...Here's the plan. You'll reach out and pet him, while I RUUUUN!" He took off, followed only moments later by his brother, both sprinting away from the bull, darting up the sides of buildings, one with grace, the other more brute force.

Both stopped abruptly at the edge of a building, staring down a long way at the water below, and two barrels, "What's the worst that can happen? I mean, we die, we get home sooner?"

"Yes brother, but you haven't died before. It actually really HURTS." The dark haired one snarled, "We're not doing that."

"I bet we'll live."

"Fff..." He looked behind him, "Well, if we're gonna go, we go now," Slender hands grabbed thicker, work hardened ones, and dragged off the edge, both falling almost perfectly into the barrels below. "Woo!"

"Well that was fun. Lid?" The blonde handed over a barrel lid, and covered his own, "Now we wait until the coast is clear. Take a nap brother. I'll wake you."

_

What felt like a really poor nap later, both were woken by movement, and went to lift the lids, only to find them too heavy. "Hey...Miguel...we're...stuck..."

"Tulio...On three. On three," The blonde went to lift, "One, Two, Three." Nothing. Again. Nothing. Again. Nothing.

Both slumped in their barrels, sighing, and waited, the rocking and creaking all around, "Miguel, you know what, I think we're on a boat. I hate boats. Remember that? Remember what happened LAST TIME we were on a boat?"

What felt like days later, an attempt to lift the lids finally worked, "Ohh...um...sorry, we'll just be going now...This is...we're not here."

The barrels were dumped on the deck, and both men were dragged across the rough wood until they were facing the Captain, a massive Spaniard who looked at the two like they were criminals. Which, to be entirely fair, they WERE. But stowaway was a new one for them, "Uh...Hi?"

The captain glowered, much like their one eyed father had, so many years before, before he sent them to Midgard. "MY MEN! WERE CHOSEN MORE CAREFULLY THAN THE DISCIPLES!" The imposing glare grew in strength, "Men, throw these Stowaways in the Brig. We'll deal with them when we get to land."

Neither brother fought as they were dragged to the cell and thrown in, falling hard. "That didn't work very well at all. He really didn't believe us, did he?"

"Miguel. Thor. WHY WOULD HE?" The dark haired one shook his head and stormed to the side of the cell, thumping his head against the rib of the ship, "You. Don't. SPEAK...I DO THE TALKING. Father's Scraggly BEARD! You are an utterly pitiable...no, that would require SOME LEVEL of competence...You are a liar of absolutely zero skill, and far LESS believability."

For a moment, he had forgotten himself, how this was the THIRD time the brothers had been banished to Midgard to learn a lesson. This one, to a land far from the Nordic Lands, to a land where cold steel and colder glares came to the foreigners. Then he remembered he was trapped in a ship without his powers, with his brother, without HIS powers. "How do we get out of here? What lesson is Father trying to teach us?"

His head thumped against the rib continuously, becoming a long, repetitive thumping that eventually drove his brother to do something, "Loki. Loki, stop. Seriously. You don't have your regenerative powers here. You could actually hurt that brain of yours, and we BOTH know you're the smart one."

For once, the younger, dark haired brother had to agree, and turned, "Fine, fine, fine. I think I have a plan. So...no powers...I can't seduce anyone on this ship anyway, they're all a bunch of prudes...and ugly to boot."

"You seduced a horse."

"That was once. Never gonna live that down...Besides, I'm pretty sure this horse is a gelding. He wouldn't go for me. That won't work. So here's the plan. We'll sneak out, grab some supplies, steal a longboat, and row back to Spain."

"We'll need to get OUT first. I don't have my strength, or my hammer."

"Okay okay. So...first we...sneak out. Grab some supplies, steal a long..."

"We can't just walk up on deck, remember, no powers?"

"Oh. Right right right." He stood again and gently smashed his head against the rib again, a small dent forming from the repeated impacts, trying to figure out the escape, "What if we wait...no we'll starve...and be too far from Spain. Can't steal a ship again...that's boring, and too hard to crew with two..."

As Loki continued slamming his thoughts back into order, eventually, his brother grabbed his shoulder, "Hey. I've got an idea. Let's use this APPLE to get the horse to get a prybar."

And so Loki wound up holding his brother on his shoulders, the elder brother holding an apple through the grate, "Tkk, Tkk, hey, hey Altivo. Altivo. C'mere. Come here. Good horse. You want this? Bring me a prybar." "I don't think he understands you." The elder truly had no way with words. Least of all with animal words. But then without his power, even the great Liesmith could not speak to animals. Still, minutes later, just before Loki's shoulders gave out, after what he believed to be a sufficient amount of suffering, a key-ring fell to the floor, and Loki's jaw joined it.

"What in Father's name did you SAY to that horse?"

"I have no idea. I just mimicked you." Loki actually did drop his brother on the floor and grabbed the keys, "Lovely. Just...Lovely. Well at least it's a walking food-source...If we can't trick it into staying behind..."

He had no confidence in that part of the plan, but he did have a different plan now. Food was food. Horse or otherwise. He grabbed the keys, climbed up on Thor's shoulders and unlocked the grate, sliding it aside and pulling himself, then his brother, out, and hurridly collecting supplies and throwing them into a boat. The whole time, he kept an eye on his brother's back as the blonde fed the apple to the horse, before swinging the boat out over the side, "Come on Miguel. Let's get out of here."

Both men in the boat, they started descending to the waves below, grinning, right up until the horse went flying past them, and Thor released his rope. Loki released his to keep the boat from flipping, but it was too late, and the wake rolled the boat over them, pulling both into an air cavity underneath. A moment later, the horse joined them and licked Thor's face, "Loki, get the rope under Altivo. Hurry. We're gonna have to flip the boat again."

"Flip it. Again. To save the horse? The horse YOU flirted with? You disgust me. At least I knew what I was doing," Loki frowned at his brother, "And...and...At the time I was a FEMALE...so..."

Thor looked over the horse's shoulders, "Not on purpose! I just repeated what you did."

"I WAS FLIRTING ON PURPOSE!"

"FLIP THE THRICE-DAMNED BOAT!"

"FINE!"

The rope was pulled into place and both brothers climbed up onto the top of the boat, standing up, "Ready, pull in THREE, TWO, ONE! PULL!"

The boat righted itself, scooping up Altivo, and dropping both men into the water, where they were able to scramble back up into the little boat and start rowing frantically to get away before they got caught. At a fair distance away, Loki stopped, "Alright. Now, please tell me you brought the map."

Thor grinned and pulled out a roll of parchment, holding it out to his brother, who simply growled as he opened it, "This is...This is. THIS IS WORTHLESS!" He rolled it back up, "I meant a USEFUL map, not a...clearly fake map to a clearly fake place in the new world."

Thor shrugged and pocketed the map again in his shirt, "We're the sons of Odin. We'll be fine."


End file.
